How To Rebuild A Relationship With A Cheating Partner?

Did you know around 55 % of Indians in a survey have admitted to have cheated their partner at least once while in a relationship.

While in another survey 7 out of 10 women in India have been found to have a second relationship. In the same survey by Gleeden, 20 per cent men and 13 per cent women admitted of cheating on their spouses.

As a result too many marriages are falling apart! These disturbing facts about infidelity makes me to think: Should we not discuss about cheating?

So, follow these 5 steps to rebuild a relationship with a cheating partner.

1. Become aware of your emotions before anything else

Accepting the fact that you have been cheated is not easy!

You never can let go of that feeling where you are constantly doubting the intentions of your partner. You feel cornered and like a fool most of the time, thinking this might be the next straying episode of your partner.

But when you want to continue and rebuild a relationship with a cheating partner, that is, your spouse, you have to take action. Take charge, in fact.

Read : How to fix a broken marriage after getting cheated

By this, what I mean is that you should start becoming aware of your feelings at first.

Give genuine answers to yourself in private to uncomfortable questions before actually facing your partner.

This way, you won’t have a biased judgement when your partner wants to make up for the slip.

2. Set clear-cut boundaries in between your newfound relationship

There are hundreds of reasons why partners cheat. Yet, one of the core reasons for their slip might be unclear boundaries in your relationship with him.

You never spoke about the level of trust you have in him. It was always intrinsic and unspoken.

You thought it was implied. But at times, non-verbal communication isn’t enough, and when things are unclear, it leads to such disaster in marriages.

Read: For the Betrayer: 8 Things You Must Know and Do to Rebuild Trust After an Affair

So, now you should set new boundaries with your partner who cheated once. Tell them what is cheating in your opinion and what’s not.

Finally, without having such kind of conversation about different types of cheating: micro, physical, and emotional, you cannot repair the bond.

3. Don’t belittle or poke the partner continuously

If you want to repair the marriage after being cheated on, then poking the partner for every little mistake and reminding them of the deceit is wrong.

This way, neither of you can move on.

Read: How to Deal With Infidelity

Instead, you have to be the forgiving person here if you legitimately want to rebuild a relationship with a cheating partner.

And this decision to repair the bond must be from both sides.

Please remember you cannot and should not force your cheating husband to continue a loveless and trustless marriage with you for your own revenge.

Read: How to Fix a Broken Relationship: Expert Tips

That would be quite messed up. You both will end up hurting each other more in the future if that’s the case.

4. Become friends with your husband first

The ultimate task to rebuild a relationship with a cheating partner is not a cakewalk.

You have to become best friends first. You have to let go of the wife/husband role. Otherwise, you won’t actually realize the core reason for their slip-up.

Without going deep and addressing the unsaid and unheard marital issues between the two of you, it’s impossible to get ahead of this deal breaker episode in life.

Also Read: I Interviewed 46 Men Who Cheated. This Is What I Learned.

So, act like friends. Know what your partner actually likes or dislikes.

This includes having a conversation about his sexual preferences as well as yours. This can be awkward if you never had that talk before.

But just a reminder, you have to be the action-taker. You cannot continue to assume that this relationship will heal on its own. This is real life, after all, not your fantasy. It might sound rude, but that’s a fact.

5. Discuss your beautiful past

Reconnect with your partner by walking down the memory lane. Recall why you both fell for each other.

This will help ease the heartache to some extent. Keep reminding your partner of the beautiful past of your relationship.

This is important so that he too can remember how he bonded with you at the beginning of the marriage and relationship.

You may have a hundred reasons to quit, but the key is to discover that one reason to hold on. And that’s how you begin to rebuild a relationship with a cheating partner, letting go of the pain from the this hurtful episode in your marriage. Only remembering the forever kind of love that was once between the two of you.

Conclusion:

If you are going through a relationship where you have just discovered the ugly side of your partner, I would suggest not to take any decision at the spark of the moment. Sit with your partner, discuss the situation and give them a second chance.

However if your partner is a serial offender, it would be wise to get detached from such a relationship.