Parenting is a tough job; perhaps one of the toughest jobs in the world! And when it comes to single parenting, things get even more complicated. The responsibility that is meant to be shared by the partners, has to be shared by a single partner now.
Death or divorce not only leaves a scar in the heart but also upsets your financial status! And then comes one more villain- The judgemental society. Our country may have progressed in many aspects, but even today a single parent (especially a single mother) is not what our society wants to see.
We are judgmental as a community, and anything that pricks our eye, we want it removed immediately.
A single parent – either a mother or a father is always under surveillance. Anything you do will be judged under a powerful scanner.
In a country where gender is of utmost importance, single mothers are bound to face the music much more than men. Though we often idolize celebrities or influential single mothers who run successful businesses and hold important positions in society, we fail to show the same love to the woman next door who is trying hard to raise a child all alone by herself.
Children of single parents are humane and sensible
In my years of traveling and education I made quite a friends who were raised by single parents. My interactions with them have revealed something very interesting about being raised by a single parent. If there is one thing that is common in them is their deep bonding with their parent and a sense of gratitude for raising them so lovingly. And many of them are extremely successful today and are doing good in their respective lives.
Children of single parents, tend to become more loving and attentive toward their own child should they have one. They are more generous, empathetic and courageous.
Single is just a term though, the work is however double. Single parents have to play two roles at once and deal with separation as well as and societal oppression. From my interactions with single parents over the years, I have summarized a few important tips to help you face the turbulence of single parenthood by maintaining a proper balance in life:
1. Stop responding to judgemental society
Our society is a self proclaimed morality corrector. What does not please them, shall not be passed in their court of judgement. Eventually you come to realize, that no matter what you do, you will be judged and ridiculed.
You put your child in daycare, you’re a bad parent, you give them too much care, again, you’re an over protective parent. It’s time to take a stand, and shun the abuse!
2. You have to manage finance wisely
As a single parent you need to earn a good amount steadily; there is no other way. Given that our country does not provide any legal benefits for single parents, it is solely up to you to manage your finances.
Money is relative though. It depends on your lifestyle.If you believe in frugal living, things will be easier for you.
3. The unshakable bonding
Your most precious asset as a single parent is the bonding with your kid. Focus your entire energy and time on building an unshakable bond with the kid; a bond which no one can penetrate. It’s like you are best friends for life.The effort you invest in your kid today will bring sweet returns decades later.
Over time when your little one grows, you will find it more convenient to confide in your child rather than friends or family.
Also during the toughest phases of life, even if the whole world turns their back against you, you and your child can still stand strong against all odds supporting each other.
It’s not an easy journey for the child or the parent, but a bond of deep friendship that grows in the long run makes this life worth living. A small house, a low income don’t seem to be the trouble as long as you get to see your child and share a proper meal together.
Single parents ought to travel more, enjoy life more. Understanding your child is like a gateway to another dimension. No one stops to think how the separation of the parents affected the child. But separation is not just the end of a relationship with the partner…. but the beginning of new relationship with your child that will last a lifetime.
4. Confide in someone
During the initial years of your parenthood, you will find it tough to handle the mental fatigue all alone. No matter how strong you are, after handling all the responsibilities alone, sometimes you too may long for a tight hug or shoulder to cry.
Be it your best friend, a non-judgemental colleague, a caring relative or anyone you feel good to be around with, share with them, the ups and downs of your journey.
5. A happy parent raises a happy child
The stress that we accumulate daily, needs to be excreted regularly. Else diseases will find shelter in our body. You too need to do this…REGULARLY!
Begin your day with a short yoga session followed by a 15 minutes meditation. This will keep you charged throughout the day. Devote an hour (may be at the end of the day) to read your favorite novel, write a blog, play with your paint brushes, watch movie in your laptop or do anything that makes you happy.
Remember for a healthy environment in home, we have to build our happiness and work on it every single day.
Over to you
Now that we have reached the end of this post, I would like to know your views regarding this topic. Are you a single parent? Or know someone who is raising a child all alone? Share your experiences in the comment section regarding this topic.